One of the toughest parts of hair loss for many men isn't always the hair itself. It’s the feeling that they can’t really talk about what they’re going through.
That can feel especially difficult when the changes are visible to other people. If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve had your own experience of noticing your hair thinning, working out how you feel about it, deciding whether you want to do something about it, and figuring out how much you’re comfortable sharing with others.
We wanted to understand why these conversations can feel so hard, and what might make them easier.
A common response to male pattern hair loss is: “Just accept it — it’s a natural part of being a man.” And often, that comes from a good place. Male pattern baldness affects more than half of men by their fifties, so it’s true that hair loss is something many men experience at some point in their lives.
But just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s easy.
For some men, comments like these can unintentionally minimise the emotional side of hair loss. They can make it feel embarrassing to admit that losing your hair is affecting you, or that you might want to explore treatment. Of course, some men don’t think much about their hair loss, and that’s completely valid too. But for others, it can have a real impact on confidence, self-esteem, and identity.
As a result, a lot of men find themselves stuck in an uncomfortable place: trying not to draw attention to the fact they’re losing their hair, while also trying not to admit that it bothers them.
To learn more, we spoke to members of the men’s community group Shoulder to Shoulder (S2S) about their own experiences with hair loss.
Founder Dan told us that before starting treatment, hair loss was one of his biggest insecurities. It affected his confidence day to day and, as he put it, “caps became my best friend”.
What stood out was how rarely the men had spoken openly about how hair loss actually made them feel. Their experiences closely reflect findings from a 2025 University of Surrey study, published in Sage Journals, which interviewed 34 men who had experienced pattern hair loss.
For many of the men in the study, jokes or banter were often the only way baldness was discussed. Thinning hair was treated as “fair game” for teasing, and some men found themselves making self-deprecating jokes because they felt pressure to show that they weren’t really bothered.
But the reality was that many of them were.
When opportunities came up to speak more honestly, there was often a sense of relief. Even if men didn’t go deep into the emotional impact of going bald, talking about practical steps — like shaving their head or looking into treatment — helped them acknowledge what was happening.
Dan described something similar. When he brought up concerns about his hair, friends and family would often reassure him that his “hair looked great” and that it was “nothing to be worried about”. While he knew it came from a good place, he later felt that “honesty or validation for my concerns would have been more beneficial in the long run.”
Sam, another member of S2S, said he found jokes that reminded men hair loss “will happen to a lot of us” fairly reassuring, but didn’t appreciate jokes that felt like they were designed to put him down.
George, one of the men interviewed in the University of Surrey study, had a different perspective. He saw hair loss as something he simply had to get on with because, in his view, “there’s nothing you can do about it”. Even though he struggled to come to terms with it, he felt it “would have been a bit pointless talking about it.”
His words were echoed by other participants, who felt they couldn’t speak openly about struggling with hair loss because it might be seen as vain, or as something they should just “get on with”.
Different experiences, but they point to the same thing: hair loss can have a bigger emotional impact than people often realise, yet many men still find it difficult to talk about openly.
Another study published last year, titled It’s Just Hair, Right?, describes how men experienced the first signs of thinning as deeply emotional. Some spoke about feeling paranoid that someone would point it out or make fun of them. Others worried about being seen as less attractive by romantic partners. Some avoided social occasions altogether, while others spent longer and longer in front of the mirror trying to hide thinning areas or worrying about what wind, rain, or bright light might reveal.
So while hair loss clearly affects confidence and self-image for many men, conversations about it often remain limited to humour, practical advice, or the expectation to simply “accept it”.
This is one of the reasons Shoulder to Shoulder exists. The community is built around the idea that men often find it easier to talk when they’re doing something side by side, rather than sitting face to face. Co-founders Dan and Tom started the group after recognising that an activity as simple as going for a walk can create space for more honest conversations. And with the community continuing to grow, they seem to be onto something.
Both Sam and Dan described feeling much better about their hair after seeking treatment, whether through a transplant or treatments such as Finasteride and Minoxidil. But treatment isn’t the only route to feeling better about hair loss.
In It’s Just Hair, Right?, some men described finding acceptance by shaving their heads. Online communities such as Reddit’s r/bald have also created positive spaces around embracing baldness, with members sharing before and after photos and supporting one another in “taking pride in our baldness”.
Whether it’s starting treatment, shaving it off, joining a group like S2S, or simply having a more honest conversation about what’s going on, the common thread is acknowledgement.
All of our blog articles are reviewed by our Medical Director before publication.
